What a Newborn Taught Me About Confidence
Guys, the month of June is flying by! From soaking up baby snuggles with my newborn to postpartum healing, the days haven’t felt long enough. But even in the blur of new motherhood, I’ve found myself reflecting on something deeper: confidence.
Watching my baby reminds me of how we all enter this world—tiny, vulnerable, and open. Babies are little sponges eager to soak up love, touch, experiences, safety, and connection. But what happens when those needs aren’t fully met? What happens when that sponge stays dry?
It might seem like a stretch, but stay with me. Many of us, even as adolescents or adults, are not so different from that newborn. When our emotional needs are unmet in childhood, whether due to trauma, emotional neglect, or even simply busy, overwhelmed caregivers—it can have a lasting effect on our sense of confidence and capability.
You may be carrying the weight of a childhood that wasn’t “Instagram perfect.” Maybe you were the kid whose parents had too many obligations. Maybe your feelings were never validated after that first heartbreak. Or maybe your caregiver was a sibling who was just trying to figure life out themselves.
Research tells us that the most pivotal years in a child’s development are between ages 0–8, including before birth. These years lay the groundwork for how we relate to ourselves and others. So, what did your childhood look like? Was it nurturing? Was it chaotic? Lonely?
It’s okay if those early years left scars. It’s not your fault. And here’s the truth: while our past shapes us, it doesn’t define our future. Your confidence can be rebuilt, starting today.
Here are 3 things you can do right now to begin rebuilding your confidence:
Practice Self-Compassion
Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a child who’s struggling. Be gentle. Give yourself permission to make mistakes and still be worthy of love.
Challenge the Narrative
Identify the beliefs you carry about yourself. Ask: Is this true? Or is this something I learned in survival mode? Start rewriting the story.
Take One Brave Step
Confidence doesn’t come first—action does. Take one small action today that pushes you gently outside your comfort zone. Let your nervous system experience success.
Healing takes time. Confidence isn’t something we’re either born with or without, it’s something we can grow. And the beautiful thing? You can start that journey at any age.
Healing hearts and minds
LeCole Barnes