You can’t drink from an empty cup

What fills your cup?

I ponder on this question daily. What will fill my cup? A new dress, a vacation, or some huge promotion at work. Consequently, when I experienced those things they didn’t quite fill my cup. Perhaps, I am most filled by the smell of fall- spice, vanilla, or pumpkin. Maybe it’s the mums that bloom and bring me the greatest joy. I have found that the simple and most tiny things fill my cup.

I am a mother so knowing that my children are happy and healthy brings me a smile, but it does not fill me. Imagine, my flow being dependent on someone else’s conditions. I’ve learned the feeling comes from something few understand. The joy, trials, and aw, ha moments truly fill my cup.

How can trials fill my cup? Of course, you would ask. The trials gave me something I would never receive without them. They teach me that I must have something within that cannot be swayed by material things or people. I write in the present because I understand and you must understand- trials will come and go. This brings me to the topic of psychological flexibility.

Psychological flexibility is the ability to handle changes, big feelings, and tough situations in a healthy way. It's like having a strong but flexible mind that can help you feel better and make good choices. Here’s what it looks like:

1. Accepting Feelings: Instead of trying to push away bad feelings, you learn to accept them. It's okay to feel sad or mad sometimes.

2. Seeing Thoughts as Just Thoughts: When you have a thought like, "I'm not good at this," you remember that it's just a thought. It doesn’t mean it’s true.

3. Staying in the Moment: Focus on what’s happening right now, instead of worrying about the past or future.

4. Being Yourself: Know that you are more than your feelings or thoughts. You are a whole person with lots of things that make you special.

5. Following Your Values: Think about what's important to you, like being kind or honest, and try to act in a way that matches those values.

6. Taking Action: Even if things get tough, keep going in the direction of what you care about and what makes you happy.

Psychological flexibility helps you handle hard times, be brave, and make choices that help you grow and feel good.

So again, what fills your cup? Find it- and live life psychologically flexible.

LeCole Barnes